Why Dating Apps Don’t Work for Most Users (And What We Did to Change That)
We get it—dating apps can feel like a love-hate rollercoaster. Sure, swiping through profiles might be fun at first, but when you're on the hunt for something real, it quickly turns into a frustrating, unpaid full-time job. How many more swipes until you finally meet someone worth your time?
The truth is, it's not you—it's the apps. At Lola Dating, we felt the same pain points and knew something had to change. So, after analyzing the current market and listening to what real users want, we decided to take matters into our own hands and create a solution that finally breaks the mold.
In this guide, you'll discover why traditional dating apps are failing you and how you can flip the script. This isn’t the end of your dating story—it’s just the beginning.
Why is dating online so hard? Our survey results
We knew users were fed up with dating apps, but we wanted to dig deeper to really understand what’s driving the frustration. So in July 2023, we conducted a survey, and here’s what we found:
💔Superficiality
Most dating apps put looks above everything else, making a user’s photo the first thing you see when swiping. This setup pushes users to choose potential matches based on appearance rather than personality, interests, or values. What’s even worse, many apps rely on algorithms that prioritize the most swiped profiles, which only deepens the divide, giving more visibility to those deemed more attractive and leaving others overlooked.
💔Inauthentic interactions
Let’s be real—most chat conversations on dating apps are painfully basic and boring. How many times have you been asked, “Hey, how’s it going?” or “What do you do for fun?” only to respond with something equally generic? 🥱The truth is, these interactions often feel forced, with people sending the same tired lines and predictable responses. It’s no wonder connections rarely move beyond the chat!
💔Ghosting and lack of engagement
Ever had someone vanish in the middle of a conversation? One moment, it feels like things are going well, and the next, you’re left staring at an empty chat, wondering what went wrong. It leaves users feeling disheartened, frustrated, and fed up with the whole process.
💔Time-consuming
Most dating apps demand a lot of your time—browsing profiles, engaging in endless chats, and then, if you’re lucky, trying to arrange a meet-up. But all too often, that time goes to waste due to ghosting, mismatches, or because the person on the other side was never really interested in meeting up.
💔Hard to have in-person meetings
A lot of users aren’t really looking to meet up in person—they’re just using these apps to boost their ego by racking up matches or passing the time with casual chats. For those who genuinely want real-life connections, this can be a major letdown.
Feeling a bit down about it all? We don’t blame you. But don’t worry—we promise there’s light at the end of the tunnel 😉
Most popular dating apps' success rates
Dating apps are no joke and several groups have analyzed their success from a social and a business perspective. According to Currys, dating app users are not only highly dissatisfied with their experience on these platforms, but their success rates are getting worse. This is how the most popular apps did in 2021 and 2022:
Why most dating apps don’t work: What users are saying
Beyond our findings, the Lola Dating team has delved into numerous forums to understand why dating apps have fallen short. Here are the most common frustrations users have shared:
They prioritize profit over user satisfaction
“98% of the guys that use them wonder why they aren’t winning. Because it’s a big fixed online casino, where all the games are rigged. You aren’t meant to win. You’re meant to keep coming back.” - RecordRip/Reddit
They cater only to the good-looking
“Every other dating app feels very superficial. I tried posting a modest profile photo to kinda “weed out” people who value looks over personality but then people think you’re either ugly or put zero effort into your appearance and swipe left. I’m not very photogenic and pretty average looking but I’ve tried putting better looking pictures and it hasn’t made much of a difference. I just don’t know what to do.” - IceBlueLugia/Reddit
They’re all the same, lacking new features
“The same company has bought many of the apps available and made dating apps more similar to each other. There is less differentiation between dating apps than there used to be because they’re all owned by the same 2-3 companies.” - expectingrain22/Reddit
Our solution: The dating app we’d love to have
Armed with all this insight, we created Lola Dating as the answer to these frustrations—a fresh alternative for those who crave real, authentic in-person connections. Here are the must-have features we built in to tackle those common pain points:
Date within days (say bye to endless basic chatting)
💘Users are matched not just by their interests and preferences but, more importantly, by their availability for an in-person date. When you and someone else hit it off, it’s not just a match—it’s a date! The app schedules your meetup based on when your schedules align. All that’s left for you to do is pick the perfect spot.
Rate your date (and feed the algorithm!)
💘After the date, you can provide feedback on your match. This way, the platform collects information about your preferences and uses this to feed the algorithm and offer you better options next time.
Get a dating scorecard (learn how to improve your dating)
💘Your feedback will also help create a report where you can see what others have said about you (only if you choose to). This way, you can gain some introspection and discover if there's anything that might be holding you back from finding your significant other.
Rigorous vetting process (no room for time-wasters)
💘 Every profile undergoes a meticulous vetting process to ensure a safe and high-quality community. We’re committed to keeping Lola focused on genuine connections, so users who aren’t serious about meeting in person are promptly removed.
It’s not you! What if you’ve been looking in the wrong places?
Sick of swiping through endless profiles that go nowhere? Maybe the problem isn’t you—it’s where you’ve been looking. Lola Dating isn’t about superficial matches or mindless scrolling; it’s about real connections that matter.
We’re not here to play games—we’re here to help you find someone who truly gets you. So, forget the traditional dating app nonsense and take charge of your love life.
Download Lola today and start meeting people who are genuinely worth your time. Your match is out there—let’s go find them 😉
FAQS
Why am I getting no responses on dating apps?
It’s frustrating when your messages go unanswered, but the problem isn’t you. Many dating platforms prioritize looks and surface-level matches, leading to shallow interactions. Lola Dating changes the game by focusing on meaningful connections, ensuring that your efforts lead to authentic dates.
Why am I not successful on dating sites?
If you’re not finding success on dating sites, it might be because the algorithms aren’t playing in your favor. Most platforms tend to spotlight the most popular profiles, leaving others in the shadows. Lola Dating, however, focuses on connecting you with people who like your values and interests—not just your photos.
Are dating apps designed to fail?
It’s easy to feel like dating apps are set up to fail—and honestly, who could blame you? With endless swiping, superficial matches, and algorithms that seem to favor the same profiles, it can feel like the deck is stacked against you. The frustration of shallow interactions and ghosting makes it seem like these platforms are more about keeping you hooked than helping you find a real connection. But don’t worry—there are better alternatives out there than Tinder.
Why dating apps don't work for men?
Dating apps often favor a small percentage of users, leaving many men feeling overlooked and frustrated. The emphasis on superficial metrics and endless swiping makes it tough to stand out. Lola Dating changes the game by focusing on compatibility and genuine interactions, giving everyone a fair shot at finding a meaningful match.
